Life Advice
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Emotional Toll Grows Steeper For Aging Mother
DEAR ABBY: I have a 54-year-old profoundly disabled, non-verbal child who is in a group home. I have been advocating for her since birth, when we learned she had suffered severe brain damage. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck for so long that the damage was irreparable. My first husband couldn't handle it and left us.
Luckily, a ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend’s ex-mother-in-law still comes for coffee
Dear Eric: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for four years. His daughter still lives at home. She's kind of estranged from her mother but still gets together with her on Sundays to go to church.
I spend the weekends with him. The issue is that the ex-wife comes into the house and now the ex-mother-in-law is coming over. He even ...Read more
Creativity, Not Conformity
Dear Annie: I am a high school senior trying to decide where to go to college, and I feel completely torn. My parents have made it very clear that they want me to study business. They both work in finance, and they keep saying that a business degree will "set me up for success."
The problem is, I do not want to study business. What I really ...Read more
Asking Eric: Girlfriend’s adult son gets in the way of relationship
Dear Eric: I have a 10-year relationship unmarried. My girlfriend continues to communicate with her 50-year-old son. Having him determine for her what to do in the relationship. She does not want to communicate with me. She tells me one day she loves me, the next day she does not want to talk.
Should I just end the relationship? I've tried to ...Read more
Sibling Relationship in Shambles
Dear Annie: My sister and I were once inseparable. We talked every day, shared everything and leaned on each other through some of life's hardest moments -- including our parents' divorce and the loss of our mom five years ago. But over the last year, something has shifted, and I can't seem to figure out what went wrong.
She's become distant ...Read more
Asking Eric: ‘Friendly’ customer service keeps causing conflict
Dear Eric: Many companies are training their employees to "be friendlier." Now, when I go to pay for my groceries or have bloodwork done at a lab, someone invariably asks me, "so what are you doing the rest of your day?" I find that to be very intrusive from someone I don't know and may never see again. I understand they have been trained so it ...Read more
Electing to End a Friendship
Dear Annie: After 30 years of friendship, raising kids together, losing our parents and a very good mutual friend, traveling together with our families and so much more, my friend told me after the election last year that she had trouble being around "people like me." In other words, I voted wrongly. I told her that I loved her and that our ...Read more
Asking Eric: Parents try to force reunion with estranged brother
Dear Eric: I am in my late 30s. I live halfway across the country from my parents, and don't have the best relationship with them. I also have a brother four years younger than me who I have been estranged from for 20 years.
My brother doesn't live with my parents, but he lives in the same city my parents do. If I visit, my parents will tell ...Read more
Unspoken Feelings
Dear Annie: My friend "Caleb" and I have been close for six years. We met in college, stayed in touch and still talk almost every day. He's been in a relationship for a while, but I recently realized I have feelings for him.
We've never crossed any lines, but it's getting harder to ignore my feelings. I've tried dating other people, but no ...Read more
Ask Anna: My girlfriend gets turned on by outside attention -- what to do?
Dear Anna,
I'm a 31-year-old man in a relationship with my girlfriend (29) for three years. Last week right after we’d had sex, she told me she'd been really turned on earlier that day because a guy at her gym had been flirting with her pretty heavily. She said it like it was just a fun, sexy confession, like she thought I'd find it hot or ...Read more
Asking Eric: After depression, cluttered house seems impossible to manage
Dear Eric: My house has become a mess – clutter everywhere – after going through a season of depression. I’m now in counseling, on medication and finally starting to feel better, but the mess feels too overwhelming to tackle. I’m ashamed to ask anyone for help, and I really want to get my home back in shape on my own.
I’d love to be ...Read more
Torn Between Peace and Parents
Dear Annie: My daughter "Kate" recently got engaged to her boyfriend of three years. He's polite and responsible, and they seem happy together. The problem is that Kate doesn't want to invite her father -- my ex-husband -- to the wedding. She says it's her day and she doesn't want the stress of dealing with him.
For context, her father and I ...Read more
Core Questions (Part 1)
These are the core questions asked of every participant in my sexuality survey of single people. See how your responses stack up against the majority voice.
--Have you experienced close friendships with people who could have been sex partners that did not lead to physical intimacy? (About 85 percent said yes.)
If so, did you become closer or ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I write a profile to attract the person I'm looking for?
Writing a dating profile can feel daunting. There’s no disputing that, even if you only have to write 750 characters about yourself (that’s about average for most of the dating apps these days … very short, I know). It’s still hard to figure out which exact 750 characters to share.
Too often, a client comes to me asking, “How do I ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I write a profile to attract the person I'm looking for?
Writing a dating profile can feel daunting. There’s no disputing that, even if you only have to write 750 characters about yourself (that’s about average for most of the dating apps these days … very short, I know). It’s still hard to figure out which exact 750 characters to share.
Too often, a client comes to me asking, “How do I ...Read more
Asking Eric: In-law’s body hair makes holidays a chore
Dear Eric: My son-in-law’s father does not seem to feel the need to trim his nose hair which is quite bushy and hangs out of his nose. Apparently, his wife has asked him to do something about this, but he chooses to ignore her and neither of his sons want to talk to him about it even though it bothers them too.
We host Thanksgiving at our ...Read more
Breaking Up the Book Club
Dear Annie: A few years ago, a group of us started a book club that became one of the highlights of our month. We'd gather with good food, wine and plenty of laughter, and occasionally even talk about the book. For a long time, it was pure fun.
But over time, one member began to dominate everything. She interrupted constantly, turned every ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend only wants to complain about another friend
Dear Eric: I recently set boundaries with a friend who would vent to me about another friend of theirs, with whom I'm only barely acquainted.
I asked them to stop processing this other friendship of theirs with me; it felt toxic. I told them I felt sad to spend the little time we have together talking about someone, when we could be talking ...Read more
The Ones Who Served and the Ones Who Waited
Dear Readers: Every Veterans Day, I always remember a woman I once met in an airport. She was sitting quietly by a window, holding a small American flag in one hand and a welcome home sign in the other. The edges of the sign were worn, clearly used more than once.
Her son had been deployed three times. "He says not to make a fuss," she told ...Read more
Asking Eric: Aggressive neighbor claims seniors are harassing him
Dear Eric: We have a neighbor a few doors up who hates us. We don’t really know why, but he doesn’t want us to walk on “his” sidewalk. He considers that harassment by us – just us. We walk up and down the street for our health and pass his house six to 12 times a day. If he sees us through his window, or one of the more than 12 cameras...Read more
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