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Dear Annie: I have been part of the same group of friends for more than 30 years. About a decade ago, when I got married, I asked one of them, someone I considered like a sister, to be my maid of honor. She and I had always been close. She was there when my daughter was born, we grew up side by side, and I thought of her as one of my very best friends.

After my daughter was born, our lives went in different directions. She was single at the time and living a very different kind of life, so we drifted apart a little, but I never doubted our bond. When she eventually got married, the wedding was held at my parents' home, and since her mother had passed away, my own mom stepped in to help with the planning. I was happy to support her in every way I could.

But when it came to her bridal party, I was left out. She chose another one of our mutual friends, someone she had known for less time, as her maid of honor. I had known beforehand that I would not be standing up as maid of honor, and I accepted that, but I still expected to be part of the wedding party in some way. After all, she had spent years referring to me as her "sister."

It has been nearly 10 years, and the hurt has never fully gone away. We still vacation together, celebrate birthdays and spend holidays as families. Our parents have been friends for more than 60 years. But deep down, I feel rejected and less important to her than I once believed.

I did tell her how I felt, and she apologized for hurting me. I know it was her wedding and her choice. Still, the sting has remained, and I admit it changed the way I see our friendship.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? Are my feelings of rejection valid, or should I be able to let this go by now? I would still do anything for her, but I cannot help but feel that something shifted between us the day she left me out. -- Still Hurting

Dear Still Hurting: Your feelings are valid. When someone you love and consider family leaves you out of such an important moment, it is natural to feel hurt and rejected. But 10 years is a long time to carry this pain. Friendships shift, and sometimes people make choices that sting without fully realizing the impact. She apologized, and that shows she cares. If you want the friendship to thrive, try to focus on the bond you still share rather than the part that disappointed you. Letting go may not erase the memory, but it will give you peace.

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