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Dear Annie: I've been a longtime reader, and a recent column really resonated with me. I'm a couples coach, and I see this pattern often: people who fear conflict tend to suppress their feelings rather than express them. Over time, that silence turns into resentment, and eventually, things explode -- sometimes irreparably.

In the letter you shared, the woman said she and her husband had only had a handful of disagreements in 13 years. To me, that's a red flag. Conflict, when handled well, is a sign of emotional honesty and connection, not a failure.

How can couples learn to communicate honestly and handle conflict in a healthy way before resentment builds up and causes real damage? -- Looking Beneath the Surface

Dear Beneath the Surface: Thank you for your thoughtful letter.

Many people think avoiding disagreements keeps the peace, but peace without honesty is fragile. Real connection comes from being able to say, "This hurt me," or, "This matters to me," and knowing your partner will listen with care.

As you pointed out, having only a handful of conflicts in 13 years is not a badge of honor; it's a sign that someone may be holding back. When feelings go unspoken, resentment takes root. And eventually, that quiet builds into a loud, often painful, eruption.

The key is learning to talk about issues early and kindly. That means creating a safe space for both people to speak their truth without fear. If that feels too difficult, couples counseling can help. A good therapist or coach teaches people how to disagree in ways that bring them closer, not further apart.

Thank you for reminding us all that honest communication isn't the problem. It's the solution.

Dear Annie: I've read several letters about sudden personality changes in long-term relationships and felt compelled to share my story because it might just save a life.

My husband, once the kindest, most patient man I knew, became irritable and quick to anger almost overnight. He was grumpy, withdrawn and not himself. As a critical care nurse, I knew something was wrong. His doctor found nothing concerning, but I trusted my instincts and suspected something had been missed.

I encouraged him to switch his primary care to a nurse practitioner I had worked with and trusted. A basic blood panel revealed a serious issue: a large parathyroid tumor. It was affecting his kidneys, causing a dangerous buildup of toxins, high protein levels and severe electrolyte imbalances. He was admitted to the hospital immediately and was at risk for a cardiac event.

The tumor was removed successfully. I can say honestly that the man who woke up from surgery was the same loving husband I had lost more than a year earlier.

What tipped me off? One morning he forgot to flush the toilet, and I noticed his urine was dark brown -- a clear sign of kidney trouble.

The message is simple. Pay attention to what your body puts out. It may feel awkward or insignificant, but it can save your life or someone else's. That same awareness helped me, too. I noticed changes in my own bowels and caught rectal cancer early enough to avoid surgery.

I hope sharing this story helps someone trust their instincts and take action when something feels off. -- A Nurse Who Pays Attention

Dear Nurse Who Pays Attention: Thank you for your letter. I love hearing from professionals in their field and hope your letter helps others. I am so glad your husband is back to his old self -- what a relief!

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.