ArcaMax

I love mystery. No, not the murder-mayhem crime scene. The mystery that moves me (and maybe you after you consider my words) is the aura, the enchantment and the spell we can weave around ourselves. But before we get to that, know that my kind of mystery has nothing to do with game playing or trickery in relationships; in my value system, they'...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I helped my friend "Erica" get hired at my company. I usually do not like recommending people I know to work with me, but the job market has been tough, so I didn't mind. Erica was hired, and unfortunately she has not been performing well. She is about six months in now, and recently the hiring manager asked if I might speak with...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boss let me know that my co-workers have often "told on me," reporting when I arrive back to work three minutes late from lunch or leave a few minutes early (to make sure I took the time off).

I don't know how to continue to work with these people and see them daily, now that I know that none of them are my friends -- and ...Read more

Dear Annie: I'm 63 years old, and I live alone in a quiet little house with my dog, Rosie. I like to sit on the porch in the evenings and watch the sun go down, but lately the silence feels heavier than it used to.

My daughter, who is in her 30s, moved to Texas with her husband about a year ago -- and since then, she hasn't spoken to me. Not ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I found out my adult child is transgender. Nobody knows yet except for me, my husband and my other child. Until this year, I have always worked in a very caring, loving and supportive environment. Recently, I overheard a new male co-worker say in a high-pitched voice, "I'm transgender! I'm transgender!" while ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago. It was a difficult decision, but ultimately I felt it was the right one for both of us. Since the breakup, we hadn't spoken at all -- no texts, no calls, no accidental run-ins.

I had started to move on and was focusing on myself, trying to heal and rebuild my sense of peace. Then, out...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should a daughter spend Father's Day with her husband or her father?

I haven't seen my daughter on Father's Day since she got married 18 years ago. Her husband demands to spend Father's Day at their beach house 300 miles away, and later, they will want to host me there for a visit.

I think this is extremely selfish of him ...Read more

Dear Annie: I've had dogs all my adult life, and I've always dreaded the moment they start to slow down. That fear of the inevitable was especially strong after my divorce, when I began living alone with the three dogs my ex-wife insisted I take. One passed away peacefully just three months later, as if to spare me the pain of a final trip to ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I'm blessed at 38 to have my first and likely only grandbaby. She's PERFECT. My daughter, "Robin," is stressed. She's left alone with the baby all day, every day while her partner works. Robin sleeps only when he's home. I understand her frustration. I raised her and her brother, 12 months apart, on my own. I don't get to see my ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister has been living with me for the past 12 years -- ever since she and her husband separated. At first, we were angry with him for how he treated her, but after living with her, my thoughts have changed. I've tried to correct her bad habits and set boundaries to keep my family comfortable, but she doesn't respect me or my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We've been invited to a combination multi-graduate/Father's Day gathering at an in-law's house. The hosts suggested it in order to honor all the fathers in the family, as well as the three graduates: my husband from grad school, our son from high school and the hosts' daughter from high school. Our in-laws have offered to ...Read more

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for nearly 39 years. He has always had a tendency to put himself first -- even before our sons, and now even our toddler grandson -- but I'm at my wits' end over his latest act of selfishness.

His only sister recently suffered a traumatic fall. She was airlifted to a trauma center with a ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I lost my wife of 20 years four months ago after a prolonged illness. I retired at 62 and became her primary caretaker. The job of caretaker is endless and stressful, and yet rewarding. A female friend of many years ("Dinah") came to the memorial. I grieved, attended Grief Share and read articles about grief. I experience grief every ...Read more

I'm flying home in two weeks, and for the first time, I'm apprehensive. This time, I'm an official delegate representing one of my homes to another. Representing countries is a role I've had my entire life, but this has brought up an identity crisis that I had smothered with work, raising kids, and even running for office. It's thinking about ...Read more

Dear Annie: I've been a longtime reader, and a recent column really resonated with me. I'm a couples coach, and I see this pattern often: people who fear conflict tend to suppress their feelings rather than express them. Over time, that silence turns into resentment, and eventually, things explode -- sometimes irreparably.

In the letter you ...Read more