A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

"OK," says his ...Read More

An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch. He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal. The old man replies, in a thick acccent, "Wass goot, but you could give a little ...Read More

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four ...Read More

A food that can be brown or white - Potato

A jacket potato topping - Jam

A famous Scotsman - Jock

Another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones

Something with a hole in it - Window

A non living object with legs - Plant

A ...Read More

- Have you ever noticed that when a traffic signal turns green, automatically it activates the horn of the car behind you?

- If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Fred Armisen talks about playing drums and doing an impersonation for Ringo Starr on his birthday and releasing an album of 101 sound effects before confirming there will be a spinoff series for his Wednesday character ...Read More